Warning: April is here and that means

You will be exposed to random comments, including expletives, that are likely to be completely out of context for you not only here in this blog but in any conversations you might be lucky enough to have with me between now and late October. Opening day was April 3rd, of course I don't consider baseball season truly in play until we've had opening day at Bush Stadium. We're 5 and 4, one game out of the lead of the National League Central division. Go ahead, laugh, but it's never too early to start keeping count.

Now onto other things.

Speaking of sports, from Rangelife's blog:

Victoria, not VictoriousAt last Saturday's Cal men's hoops season finale versus USC, Bears boosters pulled a prank that straddles the fuzzy gray line between "Crap-Yer-Pants Hilarious" and "Inexcusably Cruel."
When USC guard Gabe Pruitt took his first trip to the free throw line early in the game, the Cal student section hollered in unison: "VIC-TOR-IA, VIC-TOR-IA," and then yelled out a telephone number. Pruitt glanced back at the crowd in horror and bewilderment before clanking his free throws.
It turns out that a couple of mischeivous little bastards from the Cal student section had been IM'ing with Pruitt all week under the identity of "Victoria," a fictional UCLA hottie, and Pruitt was eagerly anticipating a date with this nubile co-ed back in Westwood after the game. In preparation for the date, Pruitt had handed over his digits, which the Cal student section recited back to him in unison.
Pruitt, a 79% free throw shooter this season, missed both shots after the "VIC-TOR-IA" chants began, and hit only three out of 13 shots the whole game. Cal beat USC by 11 for the season sweep, in part due to the Cal fans' devious psy-ops.

www.defectiveyeti.com
Another blog, some very funny things, my favorites - the bachelor-ate, tick tock, research day

www.overheardinnewyork.com
Very funny site of submitted snipped of conversation overheard in New York. I love this idea, I am always overhearing odd and funny things but I'm never able to get them written down. I always think I'll remember but by the time I'm in a place to record them, poof, it's gone.

www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/03/09/60minutes/main1385230.shtml
The science of sexual orientation. Originally 60 minutes aired this on March 13th, sadly I missed it but you can read it all at the above link. It was a really fascinating and well done story.

Curves update - I was up a couple pounds this month, damn period, but I was still down close to 5 inches. Still loving it, I really look forward to my workout days.

You try to be constantly clever with titles.

It's not as easy as it looks.

Boise Idaho doesn't sound like a hotbed of political protest does it? I mean, really, other than the entire sweet vs baking potato thing. But activists put Heterosexual Only stickers all over downtown near the courthouse. On benchs, waterfountains, that sort of thing. It is in protest of yet another marriage is for a man and woman only law being presented and is supposed to be reminscent of colored/white only signs in the south. Now, while I certainly agree that marriage should be open to anyone regardless of gender of the parties involved I have to draw a line here. No one is asking gays to sit at the back of the bus, in seperate train cars, not dine where they wish or where they can or can't squat when nature calls. No one has tried to keep gays from the voting booth. The desire to have the right to marry who you wish is far too serious for cheap tactics.

Soul for sale.

Cheap. An atheist offered the world - or at least the world who Ebays - an opportunity to save his soul. For every ten dollar incriment of the winning bid the seller agrees to spend one hour in church. Since the sale ended at five hundred and four dollars that was a solid fifty hours of church time, more than enough to convert the seller, at least in theory. Evangelists bid, eager to save a sinner. Atheists bid, hoping to keep Mr. Mehta in their fold. When the auction stopped on Feb. 3 after 41 bids, the buyer was Jim Henderson, a former evangelical minister from Seattle. Click the link to see more on what happened next. http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/business/article.adp?id=20060309145709990003&ncid=NWS00010000000001

On a personal note.

Things are going along well. The baby is going to be a year old on the fifteenth. I can't believe it. Most days it's hard to believe it's been a full year. Other days it's like some Twilight Zone episode where years pass inside the house even though only a day passes outside. So far those days are few and far between.

CURVES is still working, this month I was down two pounds and four inchs.

I am still having huge trust issues. When he works late I can't help but go to that place in my head and I end up simmering like it was all yesterday. I really don't need for this pain to be so damn fresh but I know it's unrealistic to expect it to not be.

We got doves, I know adding birds to a cat household could be the set up for real hijinks but no, not so far. Interesting thing to know about doves - they coo all the time and they coo loud. Loud as in you can hear them when you are upstairs in bed and they are downstairs. All day long, loud coos wouldn't be all bad but there is this other sound they make that freaks me out. It's like a cackle. They are also a lot of work, change the paper and give them fresh food and water every other day.

So, back to business

Things you should know, if you've been paying attention.

Okay, we've hit month one at Curves and the results are as follows.
Gina - 1 pound - 11.25 inches!
Lyn - 4 pounds - 12 inches!

Let me just say, we - rock - truly and thoroughly, we rock.

Now, sure, I can hear you now. But it's only 4 pounds Lyn, in a full month of psuedo-dieting and trice weekly workouts. And to you I say - pffflleeeep. See, here is how this works. Working out, especially when you start out in fat city like me, makes your body sit up and scream at you then tone the muscle you have and build what it needs to maintain the new metabolism and exercise you are subjecting it to. And muscle weighs more than fat. So at first you lose pounds very slowly and inches rapidly. Eventually it will equal out so you are loosing pounds and inches in drastic numbers.

Next - Forgiveness is a bitch.
Or it is making me it's bitch, I'm not sure which. I have this tremendous rage inside me all directed at that cheating son of a bitch also known as my hubby. I don't know how to vent it without venting it on him. Which he may have coming, totally deserve but it's still not what I want to do. Maybe I need a real therapist, not just this blog to pour my soul out onto. Of course you, dear blog, are infinately cheaper.

Next - Olympics.
Okay, I'm a junkie. Hello, my name is Lyn G and I'm an olympaholic. Winter sports. Summer sports. Don't care which, it's all good. Men in speedos. Men in skin tight rubber suits. It's all good. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total horndog, I love the sports too, hockey, speed skating, snowboarding, ski jump, all of it. Hell, I'll even watch curling.

Side note - waaa waaa waa.
I am so tired of hearing about Michele Quan. I'm sorry you've had to give up your chance at a Gold, sorry you're going home, but would you - leave - already? Well, to be fair, you did, it's the damn media that won't shut up about you. For the record, here is my opinion. You shouldn't have been in Torino to begin with. Medical waver my ass. You don't make the qualifiers, you don't compete like everyone else has too, you don't freaking get to go to the Olympics. Bully for you though, you said - if I can not compete I will step aside - and you did. You know your body and you didn't wait, didn't drag it out, you stepped aside gracefully, graciously praised your replacement, took your skates and went home. You are a great skater, you have revitalized the sport and showed dignity that some of your peers have been sorely missing over the years. Don't let this one missing element distract you from all you have done.

Next - fun, fun things.
I'm sure you've missed them so here are Lyn's fun things to do and see.

Mad Magazine.
Everyone loves it, might not always admit it but they do. I will buy Mad every once in a while, usually when I'm suffering through a cold or otherwise will be stuck in bed for a day, and the last time that happened I saw an advertizement that made me go - hmn. Mad For Kids. Mad. Mad, for kids. But, isn't Mad - for - kids already?

Sci-Fi Channel.
Movie of the moment. Made for Sci-Fi, at least I'm pretty sure it was. Ready folks? Chupacabra: Dark Seas - 2005
legendary Mexican demon vampire type creature is turned loose on a cruise ship
John Rhys-Davies the voice of Gimli, real Shakespearian actor, Shogun, Merchant of Venice, Henry VIII, I Claudius, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Sliders.
Do yourself a favor and watch for this one, or rent it at Blockbuster... hmn, maybe even Netflix. One of the best bad B movies I've seen in a while, and I watch - alot - of the made for Sci-Fi movies so that's saying something.

Porn, it's everywhere you want to be.
Yup, would have been better if this was a tie in to a Visa comment, but no. Porn on the Ipod.
http://www.macnewsworld.com/story/Q0qzkYL72GCNEa/Porn-Eyes-iPod-Possibilities.xhtml
Is that an Ipod in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

And definately not least but last anyway,
Hot Johnny http://hotjohnny.blogspot.com/
Very funny man, do yourself a service and read the previous entries. Lots of very good writing.

Things come to a head.

Okay, so, I need to put this in writing and that's the purpose of this thing, right? Putting things down that I need to get off my chest?

I've known for years that my husband has been cheating on me.

Wow. That's funny to see in print. Black and white. It looks so, I don't know, matter of fact? Innocent? Something.

So, here is the thing. I always said I'd never stand for being cheated on. But I did. I didn't leave. Instead I went ahead and got pregnant. It wasn't to 'save' anything either, we've always wanted children and the fact he cheated didn't change that for me. I wanted our daughter. But I discovered something after having her. What I could tolerate changed. Not just in my relationships either, but within myself.

So along with the deal with my weight & depression issues I decided to deal with the infidelity. I went after the proof which was eye opening. He'd been trying to stop for a while and he wasn't with her on anything close to a steady basis. So I decided I'd try to be subtle, guide him toward being more firm in not just trying to seperate from it by letting him know I suspected something. And I think that would have worked but another complication arose.

He's been trying to rekindle our relationship and talking about getting on with getting pregnant again. There is - no - way I'm doing that until I am further along with my weight progress and I thought that was my only reason really. But as he's been trying to get intimate, rekindle physical contact as well as emotional, I realized I can't do it until I know it's really over. So I confronted him.

Long story short, we are going to try and recover from this. I've been clear as I can be that it will take a lot of work for him to rebuild my trust and that intimacy isn't going to happen overnight. He didn't understand how much this hurt. How much, right now, I don't like him.

I am willing to try, really try, but I think I'm more than a little scared that it won't be enough.

Back from the edge.

Holiday time is always so spastic, between the obligations of family, work and friends there seems to be zero time to actually accomplish anything because you are so busy 'doing' things. Add to that though I just really didn't feel like writing. Mental block I suppose. A twist of depression. Okay, that's not exactly right.

More like a realization of depression. I've always felt that I am not the type to be depressed, one of those - it's just a phase, I can buck through it, it's just the blues kind of thing. But since the baby I've taken some long, hard looks at myself and I know that I've been depressed for years. Not so sure I qualify as clinically depressed but wow, it's there alright.

I've been overweight since I hit fourteen or so, but I'm at the biggest I've been, I hit 311 right before the baby was born and even though I lost a solid fifty pounds afterwards I started up again a couple of months ago. I know depression is a lot of that, and that my weight is also a lot of my depression. Classic viscous circle, right? So I hit 280 and said, that's that. I can't be - this - woman, this example, for my baby. I can't be this woman for myself either.

I am horribly unhappy, it effects every aspect of my life.
It's my own damn fault.
I'm letting myself sink because it's easier than doing the work to swim.
I think I am also waiting for someone to save me.

That one bears repeating.
I think I am waiting for someone to save me.
My focus is on anything and everything but my own actions. I'm doing so much.. if only. If only this part of my life was - this - way, if only I had - this - thing, if only... if only. But none of the if onlys are things I would do.

So, screw this new year resolutions crap. I am not going to tie these revelations to something so transitory.

I am not going to be this unhappy person any more. Every time I find myself doing something in pattern I will stop and look at my daughter and remind myself of the example I am setting. I am going to be proactive about changing my life. I joined Curves with my friend Gina. Three times a week. There will be no excuses. It has been two weeks and I already feel different. I have stopped eating the way I did. No more fast food. No more daily sodas. Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, smaller portions when I do eat 'regular' food and salads. I will get out more during the week, walks in the park, on the beach, whatever, just to get out in the sun and fresh air.

A suggestion for Friday and other things.

Numbers. If you've missed this show you need to correct that error. It is on CBS, Friday nights, stars Rob Morrow and a very - very - hot David Krumholtz. I admit when I first heard about it I wasn't caught, math genius helps his FBI agent brother solve crimes, but it's really remarkably well done. And did I mention the math genius brother is delicious?

Where have all the reactionary Christians gone? I miss the days when the 700 Club and other evangelical organizations used to panic over Halloween. You could count on a solid two weeks of shows highlighting the evils of Halloween, how we were sending our children directly on the road to hell and handing them a pumpkin faced flashlight to light thier way. Or how we evil Pagans were sex-crazed, devil worshiping pawns of Satan. Some of them got outright foamy lipped over the subject. So amusing to me, but so far this year, no shows. They're too busy objecting to the Miers nomination maybe.

Todays scary story is sadly not Halloween themed. I've always said the average person these days is too close to a sheep for our own good and here is a scary bit of information. They've developed a way to control a person with a remote control. http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/business/article.adp?id=20051025163809990030&ncid=NWS00010000000001

Bruised, sprained but nothing was broken.

Nothing broken I repeat that because it'll be important to some of the people who read this. And I wasn't holding the baby at the time so that covers the bases. I have a new appreciation for the power of tile floors though, I've never slipped like this on carpet. Twisted the hell out of my knee and ankle, cracked my head on the bannister and wrenched my elbow trying to catch myself. The culprit you might ask, all the fault of the cat. Usually when he's sick it's visible this time it wasn't. Bare feet on wet tile = a spill. I also am thinking the fact I was in a hurry factored into it, believe it or not I'm not usually that clumsy. Unless of course I am decending a staircase.

Halloween the good and the bad. The bad first. On the news today I caught the tail end of a story about pedophiles being restricted from serving candy to trick or treaters on Halloween. Wow. It disturbs me that I never thought about this. Of course I wouldn't ever let my kid go out alone. With all the Megans Law sites online people can find out where sex offenders live but not the exact street address which makes me wonder, how would you know?

The good. Halloween.com, a great website with just about everything you could want. Halloween greeting cards, Halloween screensavers, Halloween events, Costumes for kids, Halloween games, to Halloween safety to trick or treating information and everything in between
http://www.halloween.com/

Reasons to be glad you are no longer dating. A woman who occassionally posts a personals ad on Craigslist has started a blog posting some of the replies she has received. It's great fun to read - here is a sampling -
When people see me, they have the impression that I am normal and sometimes even shy, but they are quite wrong. Actually, the ones that look normal are actually the dangerous one.(Whoop. No date. Don’t want to end up with my face on a milk carton.)
I am not interested in sex right away; however, I will bend you over my knee and spank you like a littel girl.(Great icebreaker, I guess. “Hi. My name is Mark. *WHACK!* Don’t worry, I don’t want to have sex.” Is it me or is it more creepy that he does not want to have sex, but DOES want to spank right away?)
So, if you want a guy that will come over, fuck you, eat your food and leave while you sleep in the middle of the night without so much as a note, I'm your guy.(I think I dated you already)
change my hairstyle 2 times a year...depends how much dandruff I have...itch(not… the line to open with.)
http://taniquelle.blogspot.com/